CATY-WOMPUS
Iffn that Carny lingo is too fancy fer ya- set a spell and try this here Mountain Talk Guide.
My favorite phrase:
"She looks like death eatin' a cracker"

I NEED A MAN
Goddamn! Krispy Kreme wedding cakes! The one thing that could lure me to the altar!

AND IT'LL CURE A STUBBORN CASE OF THE CLAP
German (surprise) artist makes art using photosensitive bacteria that react to projected light. Very cool.

CUTE MONKEYS DISCOVERED
Two new species of monkeys have been discovered in the Amazon rainforest...they are "about the size of kittens." Awww.