Saturday, April 28, 2001

THANKS UNCLE BOB!
Well! I was certainly having a "moment" in that last blog. Fortunately- I spent the early 90's having my mind blown by reading Robert Anton Wilson, so my brain can usually get over my pessimistic tendencies, and revert back to a more optimistic (and more useful) outlook. They say "If the world seems like it's getting meaner, then you're getting stupider."

Friday, April 27, 2001

BUT LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
Ever get the feeling you've been had? When suddenly you begin to suspect that everything is all bullshit? Your love life is in shambles around your ankles, you're in debt up to your ears, you go outside of your tiny apartment with the toxic carpeting only to find either cracked up zombies, or self absorbed brain dead lemmings lurching purposefully around, no-one makes eye- contact, or if you do, then it's an invitation to a fight, and then you realise that YOU are wearing your headphones, AND sunglasses,hypocrite, and anyway, all your friends are in the same boat...then you start thinking about our goverment, and how it seems like everyone in Washington D.C. is on everything but rollerskates, let's drill for oil in Antarctica?! We don't need those pesky forests! Inner city problems? That's the parents fault! Then your thoughts start to drift to the fact that anything interesting in this world is being killed so we can have more land to grow McDonald's cancer burgers on, and then you realise that despite all the global warming and cancerigens floating around in every nook and cranny that humans probably ARE going to survive because we'll gleefully slaughter anything that gets in our way, and the only other creatures living on the planet with us in about 100 years are going to be super sized mutant rats and genetically engineered freak chickens and pigs. And flies. Lots and lots of flies. Anything suited to adapt and evolve, and feed us in a world full of garbage.

Thursday, April 26, 2001

BITCHRIFIC!
To the chagrin of some of my snootier friends, I am addicted to celebrity tabloid trash. My most favorite dirt digging dishrag is Chic Happens, a rude commentary on the fashion industry, which might even be worse than the art world.

Wednesday, April 25, 2001

WORSE THAN A USED BAND-AID
Everyone has probably found dubious stuff in their food occasionally. I've found metal nails, plastic machine parts, caterpiller nests, and a huge wingless fly in stuff I've ordered in the past, and I once spent 15 minutes going through a pile of sandwiches I made at a cafe I was working at when I found the bandage around my finger was missing. This chick found a dead squished slug in her rice krispie treat.
REALLY CLEVER OR EXCEEDINGLY STUPID
The Smithsonian is mounting an exhibition of paintings created by "paint-by-numbers" kits. How the mighty have fallen.