I'M A LUMBERJACK AND I'M OK.....
I was born in Canada's capitol city of Ottawa.The city has a canal that runs through the center of it that freezes over in winter and makes a 7 mile long skating rink. They even set up doughnut and poutine stands on the ice. The big winter festival is called "Winterlude" and people come from all over to create gigantic ice sculptures carved with CHAINSAWS!

SMELL THE AQUANET
It's a little known fact that back in the day, I was a total goth nerd. From about age 15-17 I moped around in baggy, shapeless black clothes, pointy toed boots, crappy fishnet stockings, and rosaries. The wierd thing is- I didn't think I was a batcaver...I just thought I was eccentric and theatrical. Maybe that's because my high school was soley hip hop kids and heshers.

FORBIDDEN DOUGHNUT TIME...
It's a little known fact that Canadians REQUIRE doughnuts in thier diet. It's extremely important for good mental synapase firing and feelings of serenity, not too mention providing a thick insulating layer of fat for those long, cold Great White North winters. Sometimes I deny myself doughnuts in the effort to keep the lard off, but after awhile I get looney, and doughnuts are all I can think about. Glazed, raised, cake, cruellers, elephant ears, beignets, anything except custard filled. Those are gross.

SEE THE MYSTERIOUS ICE PYGMY!
Start your own freakshow for fun and $$$! Get all the wierd attractions you could possibly need here, and don't say I never did anything for ya. Be sure to look at the Cyclops Goose Monster.

"YOUR CADAVEROUS PALLOR BETRAYS AN AURA OF FORBODING..."
This ride at Disneyland completely colored the rest of my life. Best ride EVER.

"MOST ART SUCKS"
Coagula is an, ahem, "Art's Journal" headed up by Mat Gleason down in L.A. It mercilessly skewers anybody and everybody in the art world who deserves it (mostly everyone). It does a person good to see someone scathing, and more importantly, intelligent, take on the high art world. When Mat was in town giving a lecture at SAM he wore his Roq La Rue shirt. That ought to tell you how right on he is.

JESUS H ROOSEVELT CHRIST
The top 10 worst celebrity sites...these really are awful. Be sure to check out grown up Tina Youther's cramming her goth self into a red vinyl dress....EEEWWWWW! Although making fun of Corey Feldman really is just shooting fish in a barrel.

THAT'S A NICELY RENDERED UNICORN THERE...
Here at the gallery, I've got a reputation for being willing to look at anything, so consequently I am inundated with slide packages and jpegs of people's art on a daily basis. Occasionally- there is a bright shining diamond in the slag pile, but most of it makes this stuff look good.

MORE MOUTHWATERING BABY ELEPHANTS
What do I love? I love baby elephants. Not only do we have our little DARLING at the Woodland Park Zoo, but looks like another one was just born in Florida- and 4 other elephants around the country are expecting. This is awesome- because elephants don't groove on breeding in captivity.