Tuesday, March 16, 2004

<Pagan> 

Spring Fever

I hit the pavement early the other morning, inspired by the cherry blossoms I passed the other night. Spring is on its way and life is pushing through the soil everywhere you look like a new born child crowning. I, too, am as submissive . . . powerless against such forces. I am off to the yoga studio after at least a six-month hiatus, my eyes only slits, my mat tucked under one arm. The air is cool and the early Seattle skyline is nothing but pink and silver.

I was running late, which meant there was a good chance I wouldn’t get my favorite spot . . . the one in the very back of the room.

As I made my way to the end of Java Ave, I saw that there was a line of people waiting to get into the church. They appeared to be the homeless--the down and out. There was a young couple at the end of the line and as I approached, the young man grabbed his girlfriend (wife?) from behind and began simulating the act of fucking her. His movements were slow and deep and his girlfriend smiled as her ass bounced like a drunken metronome. He bit down hard on his lip with each thrust and gave me a sneer as I walked by. As I approached the front of the line, I heard a low, husky voice call my way, “Big tits, big tits.” Big tits . . . he surely cannot be talking about me. My tits are A’s . . . raisins on a bread board, some might say. I gave a quick, inconspicuous look around. Apart from the line, the sidewalks were bare. By this time, a couple other voices joined in, sounding like a small choir, “Big tits, big tits.” I couldn’t help but smile as I passed, making my way around the corner . . . the chorus fading.

I arrived at the studio. The teacher greeted me with a Buddha smile. There were only a handful of students stretched out on mats. I walked back to my favorite spot in the back of the room and laid out my mat too. I sat in half lotus and tried to clear my mind of all thoughts. I found my mind kept wandering, focusing instead on the lovely tat on the lower back of the very attractive girl in child’s pose in front of me.

Class began and my body felt stiff and awkward. I stood in tree position--one foot rooted into the ground, while the other foot rest upon my inner thigh, arms stretched upwards, tree-like. My attention was drawn to the dome of the church I passed earlier. It reminded me of Rome and I thought how nice it would be to visit there. My attention quickly shifted to the homeless that were surely inside by now, feeding their bodies.

Rome seemed a million miles away.

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